That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
