Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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