the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
