i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize