when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Be still, my beating vagina.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
