And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize