Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
