Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize