The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
