Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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