break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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