Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
