im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
