From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
