i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
