You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
