i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
