My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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