May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
