kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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