We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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