I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
