I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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