It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
