I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
