Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
