The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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