Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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