Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
