PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
