I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
