Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
