Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Randomize
