someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize