It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
