just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
