dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
