apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
love makes seman taste better
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
