My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
