Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
