Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
