Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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