I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You left your phone here
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