fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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