Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize