He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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