I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
