To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
