whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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