dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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