so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize