The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
