so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
