do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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