Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
barbara walters just said penis...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
