Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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