and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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