he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize