I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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