i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
